Question. Is it common for Koreans to marry foreigners? 

Do korean elders accept a foreigner to their family? If so, are Europeans high up the acceptance-list?

What about friends/peers? Would they accept it or advise against it?

I want to start off by giving a little more information regarding the question. The person who sent me this question has a dutch friend (a guy) and a Korean friend (a lady) who are in a relationship with each other. A guy is 22 years old. The lady’s 26 years old. Her Korean friends tell her to break up with him because the guy’s white. They tell her that he’s basically playing with her and that she needs to marry a Korean man, instead.

REMINDER FROM THE PREVIOUS QUESTION 2 – 1

It was a long anecdote from 2 – 1.
Thank you for reading it.
I will now answer the questions.

Questions:
1. Is it common for Koreans to marry foreigners? (Answered previously)

2. Do Korean elders accept a foreigner to their family? If so, are Europeans high up the acceptance-list?
– Yes. They’d prefer anyone white than the other people. The reason was that Korea used to be influenced by the Western culture for a long time. Especially the direct influence by the United States of America really made a lot of the Koreans believe that (I guess I am one of them too in this aspect) whatever American was superior and golden than the others. The saying used to be “미제는 똥도 좋다.” Which reads ‘made in USA, even the poop (made in USA) is better.’

When Korea used to be dirt poor, our parents developed and passed down to our generations the blind aspiration about the life in the West and the opportunities (and partially it is true, aint’ it?)
Unfortunately, Korean elders would prefer white people (light complexion) than the otherwise because of the past history and perception that the white people are much more free and affluent than the other people.

Now, couple this with the gender basis as well where I mentioned about Korean males need to be the roots and pillars of the family lineage. It will continue to be, in my opinion, rare to find Korean males with Western women than the other. Even further, we are going to see more white females than the other.

Truth be told, Koreans are fascinated with the white people (blonde.) It had been with us since our opening of the borders to the West. Slowly fading, but still the blonde and white pale skin are considered the beauty standard at home.

3. What about friends/peers? Would they accept it or advise against it?
– Our generation is much more open when it comes to international datings and marriages. But obviously there are limits to how much the friends/peers would approve.

Like the dutch friend’s case above, I am sure that the girl’s friends are worried more about their age differences and the fact that the guy lives overseas. I mean, also in history and even in today’s society, due to Korea’s fascination toward white people, there have been numerous incidents where the media covered the white males in a very devilish way.

The media covered how the white males drugged not only themselves but also the Korean women consuming marijuana and enjoyed so-called ‘lustful pleasure (sex).’ (Marijuana is considered a drug in Korea. And for all citizens, the Korean government bans Koreans even from trying it. There are many Korean celebrities who were caught consuming marijuana overseas in the Philippines, etc, and severely punished by the media and the public and had to take the next few years off before coming in the broadcast again.)

Also due to the fact that Koreans do not have any ways, largely due to the language and cultural barriers, to really find out the men’s background information they are tilted more toward being conservative when the media really covers the modern foreign men in a negative way today (indeed many English teachers used to get by with fake diplomas in the past. I call it the ‘Koreans deserved it’ analogy. Where we blindly made us fascinated and fooled us. The private English schools used to claim that the foreign national tutors went to one of the elite schools. And Koreans used to believe the fake diplomas to be true.)

Like one went to an elite school and now teaches at a private English tutor school… And Koreans used to just believe it to be true.

Also recently, an American black guy has been caught and brought to the justice because he’s been having numerous sexual relationships with Korean mature women (who usually are neglected at home by their husbands being so busy at work and with their social life) and including minor highschool students. The media covered it.

And who knows what the words on the streets are, today. In my days, the words were just that the foreign men just went to the clubs to meet girls. It is a very different environment in Korean clubs than the West. In the clubs in Korea, physical appearance is everything, 99% of one’s fortune to get laid with the girls. 1% one’s ability to talk his way through. So, as the beauty standard in Korea for a long time has been based on the Western look, the Western guys had an advantage. They could literally go to the Korean girls and grab them. The K girls would just fall for them. Not sure about today as many of my generations have already been exposed to the West for a long time. But it used to be seriously true that Koreans were just so *blindly* fascinated about the blondes in the West.

Also it is true that the Western guys speak English. And Korea has such a fascination toward the ability to speak English. In the past where not many people spoke English, the Western guys approaching in English obviously had an easy conversation starter with the women. Also the Western men’s more active attitude to approach women where in Korean society, Korean men are viewed “promiscuous and slutty” if they were to do the same, were definitely a plus to easily pick up girls. But today it is a bit different, I think.


VERDICT: Well, all of these considered, it is… probably true that her friends are more worried about the sincerity of the relationship. No matter how sincere the Dutch boyfriend claims to be, the fact that her friends see is that he is only 22 years old. There are many rooms for him to change no matter what he proposes to her. To her friends, it is an inherent risk for her to take a bald step whether to move overseas or not. It is not even that the guy is living in Korea, either. Long distance relationship. As real and brutal as Korean society can be, the time for her to settle down with a man is really ticking down. As women age over 30s in Korea, they are wanted less and less. And it may be the same around the world, but the degree to which you compare should be multiplied by a large number.

I am not here to pass the verdict and decide on her life. I am just a bystander to answer the questions. But, one thing is clear.

The time is ticking.